"THE REAL RIP OFF"

SENT TO ME BY AN ARNOLD CLARK MECHANIC !!

1. Renew Engine Oil==== cheapest of the cheap engine oil ( probably reclaimed or recycled oil) did you think you were getting Duckhams or GTX ?
2. Renew Oil Filter====£2.50 for an oil filter if you shop around.
3. Renew Spark Plugs if applicable====in other words you will probably fall into the "not applicable category" because to replace would cost Arnold money.
4. Renew Air Filter====a very cheap air filter could be stuffed into your cars intake.
5. Add Screen Wash Additive====weakest of the weak solution for screen wash, you could do that yourself.
6. Check Ignition Timing if applicable====Most modern cars never need timing adjusted, its all done through the CPU ( central processing unit) but Arnold wont tell you that. nor will he tell you that you don't need it on a diesel vehicle, but he will charge you.
7. Check Mixture if necessary====Again normally done through the CPU if petrol . still chargeable on Diesels but it probably wont get done.
8. Advise if Timing belt due replacement====A quick look at the speedo will do that, you could do that yourself.
9. Check Gear Oil Level====could be  a squirt of oil on the plug. so it looks like it has been off.
10. Check Diesel Water Tap & Drain====only for diesels but on the list to make up the numbers.
11. Check Visible Coolant Hoses====A quick look under the bonnet.
12. Check Coolant Levels====another quick look while we have the bonnet up.
13. Check Anti-Freeze Content====Is it green ? or blue ? you can buy this stuff at Tesco for a fraction of the price.
14. Check Heater Operation====Didn't you do that this morning ? again, another item placed in the list to make up the numbers.
15. Check Visible Drive Belts====in other words a quick look at what they can see. with the bonnet up.

16. Check Exhaust Condition & Security====OK its now up on the ramp I'll give it a quick shake.
17. Check Brake Linings for Wear & Tear====No chance the wheels are coming off. Can 17 and 18 be done at the same time ?
18. Check Brake Discs for Wear & Tear====Can be seen from "up on the ramp" easy.
19. Check Brake Wheel Cylinders====looking for leaks, a walk from back to front while raised will suffice.
20. Check Brake Pipes & Hoses====Do I have to look again ?
21. Adjust Handbrake if necessary====Probably not necessary, unless you are sold brake shoes, handbrake cable or something else that is chargeable.
22. Check Clutch Fluid Level & Top Up====back up to the bonnet area. this was probably done earlier with the screen wash and water check, but you still get charged even if you have a cable clutch.
23. Check Brake Fluid Level & Top Up====Again done earlier. when bonnet was up ( probably)
24. Check Power Steering Fluid Level====Again as above. (Probably) but you still pay even if your car has no power steering.
25. Adjust Clutch if necessary====Most clutches are self adjusting, didn't Arnold tell you that ??? Oh dear.
26. Suspension Safety Check====Ah, done when the car was raised, but itemized further down the list. possibly to confuse you with mechanical terms you are unfamiliar with.
27. Steering Safety Check====How about a quick wiggle of the steering ?

28. Check Tyres for Wear & Damage====Its now time to walk around the vehicle.
29. Check Tyres Pressure====Look to see if they are flat
30. Check Battery Levels====I did that while the bonnet was up. but again I left it to now to tell you. you might have a sealed battery but Arnold will still charge you.
31. Check Lights Illuminate====I'm still walking around that car at this point. but you pay plenty.
32. Check Lamp Lenses for Damage====Eh ?? another scam. first he checks the lights, then back again to see if there is damage .  RIP OFF ALERT
33. Check Horn Operation====probably done that when driving past reception. RIP OFF ALERT..
34. Check Instruments Operation====This can be done when Mechanic takes car for 100 MPH burn up down nearest Motorway. in other words you are getting charged for someone to look at your dashboard.
35. Check for Visual Signs of Overheating====Once again 100 MPH should do the trick. now you get charged for someone to look for steam.
36. Check Wipers Operation & Condition====done this when I put water in washer bottle. but will charge you 3 times for it .
37. Check Washers Operation :: see 36.
38. Check Condition of Mirrors====Must assume that you don't use your mirrors for this one.
39. Lubricate Door Hinges & Locks====Quick squirt of WD 40 to make it look like some work was actually done on the car.
40. Wash Car====Get the underpaid Valeter to run it through the car wash.
41. Road Test & Report==== After the "burn up" Send the "tick" sheet to reception so they can print out a nice big bill for you.

Congratulations, you have just been Fleeced,

Caution : Arnold Clark uses words and phrases like " if applicable" and "if necessary" when referring to replacing parts & checks etc . My experience is that these words and phrases could really mean " If he has no other option" or " if charging you is not possible . It is also possible you will  get charged for things that do not apply to your car ( see item 7,10,17,18,19,24,30) In my opinion its all just one big rip off.

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